Upon the advice of my PCP, I visited a local psychiatrist a few weeks ago. Psychiatry is not new to me; I have been in therapy/medicated for the last, oh, 15 years.
However, as you may have noticed, I've been a little off recently.
After roughly 15 minutes, the psychiatrist prescribed several anti-depressants/mood stabilizers and sent me to a therapist.
Feeling better now.
F has gone to Korea on experiment for 3 weeks. He'll be home for a week at the beginning of September and off again for another 2 weeks - which leaves me here. When I lived alone - I often spent entire weeks together alone, not seeing another person. I don't go out unless I have to and, because I work form my house, I don't often HAVE to. Further gas prices are so high, I often bundle the trips and errands I DO have to make, so I'm out far less. I go long periods of time without hearing my own voice. It's been awhile though. So, I'm waiting to see if I'll have any feeling about that.
I'm thinking I may be totally boring and "UN-witty" when I'm medicated and have nothing to say. Is that the price, though?
In some ways, I feel relieved. I feel the exact same today as I did yesterday, and I'm pretty certain I'll feel the same tomorrow, too. Just an even, steady...sameness. I guess.
I took this same medication in my early 20s as well for a few days, but promptly discontinued because it made everything in my head too "quiet". Not silence as in the absence of voices, though I do talk to myself quite a bit, but more like a rhythm. Like background noise at a party. Now I can hear the outside noises and there it's quiet in here. And I don't have any really strong feelings/opinions about anything.
I've also quit stressing out about the level cleanliness in my house, which has decreased the number of random rages that I fly into when the pile of laundry/stack of unshelved books/cat hair on the couch becomes overbearing and I can't sleep - I just get MAD.
The other issue I have is that I can't stop eating. Everything.
Friday, August 8, 2008
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