Not Biting Today

As I mentioned, I work at a start-up. If you have ever worked at a start up, this will all probably make sense to you.

If you have never worked for a start up, this will all seem ridiculous - as it should.

Our founder (my boss and co-worker) basically the guy who hit his rich folks' friends up for a couple million in investor cash is the star of this story.

Working 70+ hours per week for the past two years, I haven't had the opportunity to attend to personal business. So, I whipped up a letter and sent it to *boss*, requesting 25% raise - pronto. (Believe me, he owes me AND it is long over due.) Shouldn't have been a surprise. I kind of let it slide for awhile because I knew that we didn't have the cash.

What was surprising (and alarming) was that he SHINED ME ON. Seriously.

OK, so what to do? Well, considering this is the first time in 28 months that I actually took the time to consider being unhappy, I decided that the pertinent and smart thing to do would be to put my resume together, send it out and assess what my current market value is - considering that I've gained a few skills (like how to run a company) in the past two years. What I really wanted to know was, "How much am I worth?" Not "How much can WE afford?", which is typically how I think of this question, but what is my education and skill set worth in this market.

So, I figure since i was still sore at having been dismissed by "boss", I'd work on it this weekend.

While I was doing that, I checked a couple of our online sites that list my name, contact and position. I then sent a note to "designer" to update my title to more closely reflect what I actually do and to match my business cards. NBFD.

Then I noticed that "designer" (yeah - the guy of the afore posted email fame, who shows up late for work EVERY friggin day because he didn't hear his alarm, who frequently embarrasses me and our company in front of clients and who, for all intents and purposes, is functionally illiterate, had also listed HIMSELF on the management page - right under me.)

I really don't have anything against this dude. Honestly. It's just that his work ethic sucks BIG time and it has caused me to look foolish in front of clients a few times for which I have not forgiven him. He basically does nothing unless threatened or unless he can see some immediate and direct reward for himself. I have made mention of his less-than-stellar performance many times.

*Operations* sent me a quick note saying that she didn't know if she could accommodate my request, so I just told her to take my fucking name off the page. I don't want to be listed as co-management with "designer" anyway, as I work in a small industry and don't want my name associated with his.

This, apparently, created some panic within the ranks. "Boss" immediately sent me the following email:

Lets set up a time to meet this week if possible. I know you have concerns and hopefully we can address them. There's a lot going on and I want you to be part of it. Regarding "designer", he definitely doesn't have your attention to detail. etc, etc, blah...
Can you meet Thursday afternoon for a drink and talk?
Thoughts?
Thanks,
"Boss"

So, I find myself in a quandary. My precise "thoughts" are - "blow it out your ass".

Where was the love a month ago? There were no drinks proffered, no meeting requested. But now that he thinks I'm looking for another job, suddenly he wants to know my "thoughts" - over drinks, no less. Last month he didn't want to hear jack sh1t - no drinks of any sort.

I need to respond to this, but I need to do it in an appropriate and adult way. (I am really bad at both).

"Boss" is also in sales. I am just not in the mood to take the train into the city and listen to him feed me a line. Maybe, if it weren't 400 degrees out and 89% humidity, I'd go for the drinks - but this is July, mofo.

None of it really matters anyway, because now I know the kind of man he really is, which means that I can't stay anyway.

Why can't people ever do the right thing just because it's the right thing and not because they fear some other, less desirable outcome?

2 years - he really had me going.