White Dinner Jackets

Ok, here is is, the quintescential vintage, classy white dinner jacket. My sister suggested it and this is what F and the groomsen will be wearing on the big day. It's going to look so dreamy next to this: ->

Which, by the way, bidding for ends in 1 hour. I've been bidding on this baby for 6 days, and I'm in the lead, so barring any last minute surprise bidders, it should be mine all mine in 1 hour and 18 minutes. Keep your finders crossed!

In other news, I'm trying to find something for the bridesmaids to wear on their heads. I've looked at a ton of vintage stuff, but am sort of longing to make something myself. I'm thinking of a headband/tiara/crown with embroidered roses in cream or pink. I suppose we could also make crowns with fresh roses.

My sister is coming today (for the weekend) so I'm sure I'll have lots more to post on Monday.

Here's a picture of F smoking a cigar in the meantime...

Juliet Cap

Ok, there it is. I've been worrying, for some time, about what I would wear on my head for this glorious occasion. I think I have found it - and here it is. It's called a Juliet Cap, and it's very retro, like Grace Kelly wore one on her wedding day. Please, please let it be a similar shade of ivory as my dress. Which I hope I win. There are a lot of bidders on that baby, but I've sort of set my heart on it now and ave committed to bid til the death. I will be victorious.

I'm still at my mom's. I forgot how much I liked living here. No bills, no mortgage, cleaning lady. Sooner or later I'll have to go home - and pack. Frinnefreid moves in this weekend - he's packing his stuff now. This is the last step before we make the big move to Washington. I can't wait for this next part of my life to start. In a way, I've been waiting for this moment all my life. And, in a way, I've become so use to waiting for it to start, that I've become comfortable in waiting. I either ready now or never. I wish that I didn't have to be so far away from my family. There is, I really believe, a reason for everything. This is my path.

By the way - look at these shoes! I ordered a pair for me and the maids. They're my dream shoes and we can all wear them again.

Anyway - that's all for today.
Tomorrow - wedding announcements. Woohoo!

Brides Maids!

OK, picture this in raspberry and you've got yourself my bridesmaid dresses. I heart them. I was skeptical at first, seeing them on the hanger, but then I persuaded my loving mother to try it on for me and was amazed. She loves them too. A pair of gold heels and they're all set. Now, if I can only get the dress I'm bidding on on eBay, Ill be all set. It's a Grace Kelly-esque number. A genuine vintage dress. Tea length, full swing skirt, cream lace, rouched bodice, sweetheart neckline. Oh yeah - the other dress didn't work out. It was so not what I thought it was, but I think I can make a pretty decent bridal shower dress out of it. I want to wear as many dresses as possible - this being my last opportunity and all. I may get 3! I'll post a pic if I get it; keep your fingers crossed.
In other news, a sad thing happened today. My best friend called to tell me that she is divorcing her husband of...14 years. I can't say I'm shocked. Well, I knew, for a long time, that they weren't meant for each other, but I thought they would stick it out for the sake of their kids, whether they were happy or not. But she has just had enough and asked him to leave. I have known them to be married for most of the duration of our friendship, and I've known her since middle school. It's really a sad day, and it breaks my heart to see that her 14 year old daughter won't speak to her and her 8 year old son is mad at her. They don't know what I do. They haven't seen what their long-suffering mother has endured - for their sake! All of the grief and sorrow that she endured only to shelter them from the ugliness of having their father not in their life every day. He has every possible opportunity to change! He was even medicated! I was there when the 14 year old was a baby and her father kicked her mother in the head. I was there when the same little girl was 4 and her father pushed her mother to the floor in front of her, causing her to run into her mother's arms, crying. Maybe she should have left then - but she wanted to give her daughter the best, and she thought the best would be to have her father there to tuck her in every night and to kiss her every morning. This man is a faultless father, but a jealous and possessive husband - controlling and untrusting. Nothing my friend could do would ever convince him that she was beyond reproach - though she always was. The questioning, the jealousy, the fights and interrogations. Really, the fact that she could stay with him as long as she did is a testament to her devotion as a mother. I hope that some day her children will see what she endured for them, how hard she fought to make her marriage to their father work. How much she wanted their family to stay in tact for them! They turn away from her now, all except the littlest who is too young to understand. I hope some day they see. I hope some day they appreciate that. Maybe that's not their job, but as a friend who has stood by and watched for these many years - my heart hurts for my girl. I know how good her heart is and I can't see or understand how anyone else could not. My hope is that, like me, she will someday find someone that will Love her deep down and underneath it all - Just the way she is, like I didn't know anyone could love me. But most of all, I hope that her kids love her and show her. It was all for them.
We are such an odd pair - her and I. Best friends for 20 years, though we took such different paths. I - to college and work, her - to children and a family. She had her oldest at just 17 years old. I graduated with honors; she through home study. And here we are - I, divorced, she at the beginning of a divorce. I think I really married the first time because I wanted to have a part of what she had. A family of her own, to be a mother. But it was not to be - not that time. Now she's done. Her youngest daughter is 5 - already in school, and I haven't even begun. I will be changing diapers while hers are in college. I don't envy her, and she doesn't envy me, but I'm not the idealistic girl I once was. She is just about to embrace her freedom, I am on the verge of committing myself to family. I hope I can be half the mother she is. Her kids are all beautiful.
Anyway.
I'm at my mom's for a few days. I had the sudden urge to GO HOME, in the face of leaving this place for an undetermined amount of time. I will have David and his family, but my family has meant more to me in these past 3 years than ever before. I never realized how much they loved me until I had nothing at all. My sisters especially, I will miss. I can't think of living my life without them being in it on a daily basis. My mom is the hardest, because I know she won't live forever. And while she will be here for many, many years, the fact that she won't be around some day is almost more than I can bear. Then my nephew - I haven't gone 3 weeks without seeing him since he was born. I feel a little bit like I'm choking when I think that I might miss something - any little thing. He's a miracle. Every time I see him; I'm in awe and head-over-heels in love. I couldn't bear it if he didn't recognize me. Everyone says it will be different when I have my own children, and I believe that too, but he was the first. Our first beautiful miracle. I'll never forget the day that he was born - a stranger that is related to you - so strange. And then, only 2 days later, when we had to go home (they discharged my sister) and he had to stay behind in the NICU, and I surprised myself when I cried out loud. I could not leave him there. I didn't know it - I didn't know him, but my blood and flesh were inconsolable. Even though I did not, my body knew that he was ours and we were blessed. And the day he came home - love. Like the feeling when everything is right in the world; he was home with us, in our home. It was like Christmas when I was 7. I thought that feeling was all over, but he surprised me again. He surprises me every time I see him. A thousand little miracles, and it's all in him.
Life happen to us all.
This was supposed to be a post about my bridesmaid dresses - I guess I got a little side tracked, but it's all connected. :)

We're Back

Well, we're back from Mexico. While it was beautiful, unfortunately Frinnefreid got food poisoning the second night there from eating shrimp that weren't quite right. This is so funny because F is a super-smeller. If something smells bad, he'll be the first to alert you. Did I tell you about the time that we went to visit my BFF in Idaho and she was kind enough to buy us a blow-up mattress so we didn't have to sleep on the floor, and F couldn't stand the smell of it so he slept in their living room, on the floor, with spiders. (They had spiders.) Last time I bought a shower curtain, he took it down and threw it out on the patio because the he could not sleep with it on the adjoining room. Of course, I can't complain because I have used this freakish ability to my benefit on many occasion. Once, I had a lingering musty smell around my apartment for months. I bought room deodorizers, changed the cat box, put out baking soda - nothing helped. Then I put F on the case. Within 5 minutes he had determined the location of the smell - the garbage disposal.

Once, I fixed a lovely grilled Salmon dinner for F, when we first met, and he refused to eat it, claiming that it "smelled fishy". He denies this now, of course. I ate mine and survived. So, this is the same man who ate rotten or parasite-infested shrimp on the second night of our Mexican getaway. He said the shrimp smelled bad, but he ate them because he was hungry.

He was fine that night, but the next morning he woke not feeling well. He proceeded to vomit for the next 5 hours. Listening to him in the bathroom, I briefly considered calling in an exorcist, but decided on a doctor instead. When the doctor came, F was only semi-aware of his presence. F speaks no Spanish, the doctor spoke no English, and,despite 7 years of Spanish, I am a poor translator. The point is that, at that point, I didn't care if El doctor shot him up with heroin. I needed the crying and whining to stop.

And it did.

After the first injection, when F insisted that they were poisoning him, he finally relaxed and his face broke into a broad smile. The sweat disappeared from his brow and he leaned back. 20 minutes later he asked if we could go on a hike. I said no. Good thing because 5 hours later, he was back in the bathroom.

We muddled through the following 3 days, but F never really got better. I took him to the doctor stateside as soon as we got back. He's recovering slowly.

Anyway, part of the reason for getting away was to discuss the details of the wedding. We went back and forth, but finally decided on the Madonna Inn in San Luis Obispo. Here's a link: http://www.madonnainn.com/

We're having immediate family only and dinner in the steakhouse after the ceremony instead of a reception: http://www.madonnainn.com/steakhouse.asp

The Madonna Inn is one of my favorite places on earth; I love it there.

Here's our room: http://www.madonnainn.com/tour/151.asp.madonnainn.com/tour/151.asp

and the wedding cake:

Keep in mind that it's only serving 10-12 people, so it's small. It's black forest on the inside, with whipped cream frosting and pink chocolate curls.

I'll post some pics of Mexico when I unload them from the camera.

I just love the cake.

V-Day

BTW - Happy early Valentine's Day. Frinnefreid and I are heading to Puerto Nuevo for 4 days. We leave tomorrow; I'm so excited!

I'll post pictures when I get back.

I'm off to get F's Valentine.

Beach Babes

I always thought that I hated the beach. Not true, I recently discovered. What I hate is getting sunburned. I also hate being surrounded by people who make me look like I glow in the dark by comparison.

That is part of what makes Frinnefreid and I so compatible. Now there are two unnaturally white people on the beach. In fact, Frinnefreid doesn't even care that he's translucent. He doesn't want to get skin cancer. Now, I feel less self conscious because he thinks the whole tanning business is stupid.

On the left is a picture I took of Frinnefreid while we were enjoying a lovely day at the beach in Mexico this past summer. Notice, we are under an umbrella and he is wearing a shirt over his bathing suit - so am I. If I panned the camera to the right, you would see 4 or 5 of my friends just beyond the reach of the umbrella's shade, baking in the sun. Bodies golden and dripping with sun tan enhancers, while F and I enjoy our pasty whiteness in the shade with a cool Tecate.

I can't even get tan. I have red hair, so I burn over and over before I eventually turn a light shade of rust. F, on the other hand, will turn a lovely shade of gold if he forgets to put sunscreen on his neck when he's out hiking. So, even though he can get tan very easily, he doesn't because it's silly. He is possibly the only boyfriend I've ever had who liked my fair skin and would think I was insane if he saw me laying in the sun.

This means that whenever I go to the beach, I am always comfortable because there is an umbrella or a tree and plenty of sun block and a shirt.

I can't tell you how nice it is to have a beach partner with whom I can share my uber-whiteness with.

For those of you who are interested, here's the ring.

This ring sat in a box for 30+ years, having been Frinnefreid's garndmother's who has now passed away. He's been saving it since he was 1, and he gave it to me.

I jumped the gun and bought my dress - I was a little excited, I won't post a picture, as I don't want Frinnefreid to see it. That would be bad luck. Generally, I hate wedding dresses, but I found a simple one that I really like. No lace, no petty coat, no train, no rhinestones, no tulle. Perfect.

I've also started thinking about bridesmaid dresses which makes me break out in hives. I hate bridesmaid dressed because they are so.... bridesmaidish. Manufacturers want to convince you that you can wear these dresses again. I wonder if the lucky girl who got to wear this ever wore it to, say dinner?

Not only does a bridesmaid have to wear these monstrosities in public, she has to PAY for it, to add injury to insult. I'm thinking black might be nice.

Also, what's with some cakes I've seen. Here's one I found when I searched "Wedding Cakes":

Notice the plaid trimming. I think this couple may have been going for some sort of scottish theme. I can only guess what the groomsmen were wearing...

OK!

Frinnefreid has asked me to marry him recently and I've said yes.

I was in complete shock.

I think I said, "Shut Up" kind of like, "Get Outta Town, man" (Romantic, yeah?)

Then I cried. I don't mean a tear of joy slipped down my cheek; I mean I cried and snorted and gaffawed for several minutes. Frinnefreid never minds when I snort. I also do it when I laugh.

Poor Frinnefreid. He surely anticipated a variety of responses; SHUT UP was probably not one of them.

But he hung in there anyway AND he gave me the most beautiful ring ever. It fit - he didn't even know my ring size and I have freakishly small fingers. (That's fate, btw).

Then I was floored, in addition to being shocked. Consequently, after I replied, "OK"

(romantic, yeah?),

I was quiet for awhile.

Kind of like Christmas morning when you're 6.

Frinnefreid was nonplussed by all of this. Really very cool. Then he took me to a fantastic dinner - we had the whole place to ourselves and the waiter sent us home with a bottle of wine. Very romantic....

I felt much better after dinner but I was so excited, I couldn't sleep.